Andy's Blog: A Personal Word
May 7, 2008
May. 7, 2008The late Erma Bombeck was one of my favorite columnists. She was a very funny lady, a gifted writer and a devoted Christian. She had lots to say about being a mother. Some of my favorites:
• Spend at least one Mother’s Day with your respective mothers before you decide on marriage. If a man gives his mother a gift certificate for a flu shot, dump him.
• My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car.
• Making coffee has become the great compromise of the decade. It’s the only thing “real” men do that doesn’t seem to threaten their masculinity. To women, it’s on the same domestic entry level as putting the spring back into the toilet-tissue holder or taking a chicken out of the freezer to thaw.
• Graduation day is tough for adults. They go to the ceremony as parents. They come home as contemporaries. After twenty-two years of child-rearing, they are unemployed.
• Marriage has no guarantees. If that’s what you’re looking for, go live with a car battery.
• Mother’s words of wisdom: “Answer me! Don’t talk with food in your mouth!”
• Most children’s first words are “Mama” or “Daddy.” Mine were, “Do I have to use my own money?”
• Mothers have to remember what food each child likes or dislikes, which one is allergic to penicillin and hamster fur, who gets carsick and who isn’t kidding when he stands outside the bathroom door and tells you what’s going to happen if he doesn’t get in right away. It’s tough. If they all have the same hair color they tend to run together.
• When your mother asks, “Do you want a piece of advice?” it’s a mere formality. It doesn’t matter if you answer yes or no. You’re going to get it anyway.
Being a mother takes a good sense of humor, along with patience, wisdom, compassion, perseverance, raw energy – and most of all love. Don’t forget to call, see, hug or write your Mom on Mother’s Day!